tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48999126190364505212012-02-17T03:51:40.000ZCorporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.comBlogger251100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-48900827430687432012009-04-23T09:53:00.001+01:002009-04-23T09:55:27.169+01:00

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-91330525772957955102007-12-15T19:26:00.000Z2007-12-15T19:29:08.851Z

Its 7:30pm. I am already drunk. (so I doubt any of this will make sense)I have nothing to say. Clearly I havent for a while either. This is pretty pointless. I am going to stop now.WTF!

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-46760089764454977962007-06-29T09:10:00.000+01:002007-06-29T09:13:10.508+01:00

o'l\bvffi'fhovfui;ghasdf;kbvj\xlkhp uihfpiuwe HF;LAMZXC;\LIuD023J;KJDVOUIGYEDRGASDFP VJHISDFAPVUH ASDILFU VGLJAV IOPBAGEWRGTER]AERG][ 0IQ34T907234U09 RL;XCKVN MWEBA RPI3Q9-485Y RTJOAER;OI HASDF;K VDLJBVIOPUEWGFPWE489UY FTPQ34UIOH T5R2 59P8T Y 5TEQWRIOGNQE4JI GN3SDGJ IO[;BGtHIS BITCH smakes me so fucking ANGRY i BEAT MY head on the KEyboardget OFF My tV yoU ARe noT NeWs PArIs You SUCK

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-55097958504094609172007-06-28T10:35:00.000+01:002007-06-28T10:36:18.761+01:00

Today is the last day of my second last week of employment in my current contract. I took the job because I was completely sick of my last job. It hasn’t taken me long to get sick of this one. At first it was exciting and challenging. I very quickly descended to Mormon like proportions of boredom. I thought that I slacked off in my old job. I ran the numbers on my time sheets today. Mostly just

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-83804050087699930622007-06-21T13:48:00.001+01:002007-06-21T13:49:47.235+01:00

Hahahaha - For anyone who has ever watched a Kung-fu movie

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-12247962259989488482007-06-21T12:00:00.000+01:002008-12-11T07:35:50.093Z

Day three of Download was more a testament to the human spirit and the ability of the human body to adapt to adverse situations.After two days of hard drinking and moshing the body starts to value alcohol at around the same level as oxygen. It can’t really survive with out it. We all stank of sweat and stale beer. Many of us still in the same clothes we arrived in. Caked in sweat (not all of it

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-40101404951460300632007-06-19T14:23:00.000+01:002007-06-19T14:24:41.139+01:00

If you havent read part 1: http://dontcalluswewillcallyou.blogspot.com/2007/06/down-load-festival-2007-part-1.htmlOh crap camping can suck. Especially when it’s hot, you are very hung over but mostly when you are camping at the business end of a surprisingly busy Airport. At the crack of 8:30 the sound of a 737 taking off right above you could raise the dead (future reference for town planners

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-80709601255250368532007-06-14T17:05:00.000+01:002007-06-15T10:43:24.531+01:00

The download festival was like music crack-cocaine. Once you have heard your favourite bands at around 10 000 000 watts nothing will ever sound the same again. My iPod head phones are now the musical equivalent of a one inch flaccid penis i.e. completely fucking useless.This year a group of my mates and I decided to make the pilgrimage to the largest Rock/Metal Festival in the UK; the Download

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-18309864231831652942007-06-14T12:57:00.000+01:002007-06-14T12:58:43.096+01:00

Apparently People Have been having trouble publishing comments.All three readers.This is now fixed.Comment away.

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-71331030387251580232007-06-06T11:22:00.000+01:002008-12-11T07:35:50.384Z

The link:http://uk.news.yahoo.com/register/20070530/ttc-man-barely-survives-hamster-attack-d1d76f9.htmlThat about a sensationalist Headline!!!I read that and was so excited – a rouge hamster with a taste for human blood and the ability to take them within an inch of their life, from living to barely living! That’s a serious fucking hamster. I mean come on! He is up there with Tigers, Elephants,

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-68615499182448533882007-06-05T11:53:00.001+01:002007-06-06T16:37:43.533+01:00

Last night I decided that my blood pressure was way to low so I called Sky to complain about why we didn’t have our broadband yet. Around half an hour with later my blood pressure was back to its usual near heart attack levels I felt I could relax - safe in the knowledge that the sky problem is sorted only until next week when I know that they are going to tell me of another problem using the

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-54013585211031397532007-06-01T16:01:00.000+01:002007-06-01T16:57:02.401+01:00

SCAAAAL - The Bounty Hunter = CORPORATE SLAVEDysfunctional Professional = Dysfunctional ProfessionalAn unedited converation that took place between two slackers though out the course of a Friday after a mild thursday nights drinking untill 1:30 am.SCAAAAL - The Bounty Hunter says:oh crapDysfunctional Professional says:wall of work?/Dysfunctional Professional says:they're bombing london?SCAAAAL -

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-61594018493063373822007-05-18T12:11:00.000+01:002007-05-18T12:21:32.166+01:00

Created using the combined ideas of; Dispatch,Dysfunctional Professional and Corporate Slave.(WARNING: For those of you lacking an open minded sense of humour - this post ends here.) Think about it.The black side parting that gets in your eyes all the time? EMO.Anti-social behaviour – while charismatic in his later years Hitler was very uncomfortable in everyday social interaction, often choosing

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-2631567011054502852007-05-04T14:19:00.000+01:002007-05-04T14:20:24.610+01:00

Dysfunctional Professionali'm hitting a massive sugar low after to much cokeCorporateslavehahaCorporateslaveI am hitting a massive low from too little moneyDysfunctional ProfessionalhahahaCorporateslaveoh and a pimple on my jawDysfunctional ProfessionalhahahaCorporateslaveoh and that I havent had sex in 2 yearsDysfunctional ProfessionalhahahaCorporateslavealso I am boredDysfunctional

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-18860375492716659952007-05-04T13:18:00.000+01:002007-05-04T13:20:52.363+01:00

I saw a hobo in an Oxford University tracksuit top. I didn't know whether to laugh at the irony or weep at the tragedy. Then I realised that no matter which way you look at it its funny.

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-85891848110854738192007-04-13T13:32:00.001+01:002007-04-16T12:20:40.875+01:00

I had to laugh today. It was a shit day. Nothing was going my way. Just when I thought that things couldn’t get any worse. I was enjoying my only pleasure of the day, my after lunch cigarette, a pigeon decides to shit on my head. Fucking great! I just stood there for a while, cocked my head to the side slightly to prevent any run-off, finished my smoke and went back into the office. Ready to snap

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-48437310299371714612007-03-27T15:37:00.000+01:002007-03-27T15:52:19.069+01:00

The one that started it all, the story that got me interested in writing bollocks: So with out further adue, unedited since the original e-mail: The Stripper Story.________________________________________________________Thank god for Afrikaans! Wow - I bet you never thought that you would ever here that. Well neither did I think I would ever say it. Here is why:It was a pretty typical Saturday,

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-89523531505632277542007-03-27T15:03:00.000+01:002007-03-27T15:07:15.401+01:00

"Its been twenty years since Chernobyl, how come there haven't been any super-heros yet?" Barry Griffiths - Accounant/Comedy Genius

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-28295942608469590602007-03-23T15:49:00.000Z2007-03-23T15:57:14.552Z

This conversation was so funny I had to lock myself in the bathroom because I was laughing so hard. I actually had to take a walk outside after that just to make sure I could go back to my desk. Insidentally I was on the lash last night and my hangover today has been epic. The giggles fixed that.Fiona says:sup ma biatchesDysfunctional Professional says:hoeHeadaches, just a reminder that you

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-27416315710994519582007-03-22T10:48:00.000Z2008-12-11T07:35:50.704Z

Click on Image to see full size.PS - I am a gimp, possibly not an uber gimp but a gimp none the less.

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-23528908713684034552007-03-13T15:04:00.000Z2007-03-13T15:25:59.684Z

(Corporate Slave is the Wiizard)Fi says:haha chloe and i came up with an awesome conccept for a tv programFi says:xmen xfactorOff to see the Wiizard... says:Good spoof short definitelyDysfunctional Professional says:and what exactly would happenFi says:it would be like a pop idol type thing and they would have to demonstrate what they could doFi says:i can just see the comments from a simon

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-70896916990721925112007-03-12T15:36:00.000Z2007-03-12T15:39:35.166Z

(Just for you Siobhan, I decided to post the shit stuff. 1) cause I am too lazy to write something new and 2) Recycle bins dont clean them selves out - hope the arm is getting better)Public transport.My morning routine is simple. Get up, shower, and go to work. Public transport in the UK can be pretty stressful. Crowding onto a train packed with people. Then a fat stars wars gimp fuck that just

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-463222386173029972007-03-01T14:09:00.000Z2007-03-01T14:14:14.338Z

I just wrote and entry - it sucked so binned it. Well not literally, it was a Word doc. Deleting something is never as satisfying as crumpling up a piece of paper and throwing it away.

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-46119767173567811682007-02-27T14:46:00.000Z2007-02-28T11:07:42.677Z

I am a big fan of movies, good ones, shit ones, scary, funny, cartoons (American and Japanese), blockbusters and Indy films, even the ones you keep under your bed or maybe a large hidden library in the basement and nobody will ever find until the police raid your house after you get pulled over for a minor traffic offence and name you as the number one suspect following a number of seeming

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4899912619036450521.post-31940444294209614092007-02-23T16:17:00.000Z2007-02-23T16:18:22.744Z

It's Friday afternoon, I am hung-over I have no work and I am bored shitless. Since I lost my office at work which I had for over a year thanks to a small seating glitch (Of course by "glitch"; I mean small distortion of the facts that made me a director of procurement - which I obviously was not- and hence entitled to an office - that I obviously wasn't either), I am now back in open-plan hell.

Corporate Slave #45793http://www.blogger.com/profile/16578991279711173271noreply@blogger.com2